Digital Freestyle Fridays debuted with a battle of wits featuring emcee The Brain (me, hailing fresh out of Seattle) vs. B-boy Kim Jong il (Eric, reppin Pyongyang to the fullest). Transcripts of the sick ass ryhmes follow:
Things started off slow with disconnected one-liners:
me: this ray, lights up your day
Eric: lights up your day, like a dish by bobby flay
me: cut off those lines, cuz man they bees gay
i can continue, man i can go all day
Eric: don’t tempt me to retort, you’ll end up in the death report
m’fer acting like this a game like tron, but i’ll school you like cam’ron
Then, with some help from Rick Ross, the real ryhmes started flowing:
me: look up at the stars, she like honey where’s the roof
pull up hear the dogs canaries, they goin woof
Eric: then move to the corner, try to act aloof
to ‘void the 5-0 from knocking me for truf (truth)
me: i bake bread but i gotta wait for it to proof
make the po-pos go away like magic say *poof*
have em come to your door knock you straight in the toof (tooth)
Eric: then pull out that gin and juice, rock it with the homies and blaze up that spruce
now i’m feeling like scrappin with some bitches like yous
me: ride your girl like a horse, but her hoof is loose
DOUBLE PTS!!!
Eric: ahahahaha
ok i admit defeat
i think i’d just be vying to beat that line for the rest of the battle
Eric: i’ll start this one slow, so you can follow my flow,
if it confuse you like dro, lemme know, i’ll i’ll take it to slo-mo
kkk, wow that’s bad…but at least an easy one to build off
me: uhoh, you stealin the weezy stutter
you take it slow, cuz your brain cant grow, at a pace that will match to your race, uh-oh, i switched up the ryhme
Eric: don’t stress it ain’t no crime, knowing your limits it was only a matter of time
before you ran out of lines, like bobby brown ‘fore he hit his and mine
me: im generous so let me drop you a line, a dime for key it’ll make you feel divine, sniff snort pop pills all the time, you madd f’d up got you riding on the pine
‘riding on the pine’ like sitting on the end of the bench… on a team sport
OOOOH
i just explained it son
Eric: riding on the pine? you musta heard your moms last night riding on mine
making insinuations like i ain’t even trying, like you ain’t even lying, in every rhyme, sipping wine, trying to get you hine-
E be my name, don’t let it wane… like the brothers incorporated, i done let it be stated, you ain’t nothing just cuz you act like you incarcerated
me: i was lock’d up in your love straight jaded, i walk behind smokers to get a lil faded, then my face sometimes contorts like i’m gettin masterbated
Eric: masterbated? this guy talking like sex overrated, like the fish juice is locked up and steel-plated, and crated around, underground, or buried under the Sound
of the Puget, you lose it?
aiight i’ll pause til you catch up like whoo kid
me: it aint overrated, its just that i dated, the mother of your child, who had me all elated, me and her mated, but kept it a secret, now you taking care of my son gold plated
Even Mr. Fresh Prince of Bel Air himself, Will Smith, made a cameo appearance to spit a few of his notoriously child-friendly bars:
Will Smith: i do homework all day to get straight A’s, i love all kinds of people the straights and the gays, i try my best to stay away from that purple haze, but sometimes i relax with a book and some earl gray
Stay tuned for the next session of Digital Freestyle Fridays. Hopefully they will feature some better ryhmes… and maybe The Brain won’t be constantly interupted by co-workers, whilst splittin hot fiiiiire.
Breezy Alert!
Yo, I want to give madd props to Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California. Not only for being ridiculously hot, but for keeping it real and speakin up. While I can’t say I agree or disagree with her stated opinion (that gays shouldn’t be able to legally marry), I give her triple DAPS for her response to a question from a gay judge (Perez Hilton?), in front of a huge live and tv audience, which took some major courage. Unlike all them other boogie-ass rehearsed answers to those other lame questions. Me, being a man, a tremendous one at that, am fine with the homos and their lifestyle choice. I mean, I have a good friend named Pablo, who chooses to play the catcher position in a two-man game of baseball, so it’s all good in the hood. ~paging Doctor Faggot!~
Here’s some pics for the uninformed:
Mmm, delicious, white girl
Cali breezys > WA breezys. Its no contest.
RESPECT
I’m not gonna speak in detail about MJ’s passing, because the media has already covered the shiz out of it. I’m also not down with his over-glorification, cuz he was an admitted pedobear, but he did make some good music. Nigs are coming all out of the woodwork to celebrate Steve McNair and MJ’s life… why couldn’t they do the same for real American heroes like Fredrick Douglas or Ed McMahon?
Also, peepz the tribute to MJ from The Game Ft. Diddy, Chris Brown, Boyz II Men, and Polow Da Don – Better On the Otherside. Chorus is hot, but The Game kinda phones in his lines. Props to Diddy for phonetically pronouncing philanthropy: fil-lan-tro-py. Apparently this is a common problem with celebrities:
www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=7103448.
RIP Walter Cronkite. I don’t know much about you, but you deserve some props for speaking the truth about the Vietnam War.
On the real though, I feel more sadness over the passing of Farrah Fawcett, than these other celebs. I never really knew much about her, or gave her many props cuz she’s just another blonde actress who attended Lakers games when I despised them. But I gained some newfound respect for her, after watching the documentary focusing on her struggles with cancer. Moment of silence, son.
New Music
-Nicole Scherzinger – Save Me From Myself. Average slow song from a hottie with much body.
-Stevie Hoang – Changes, I’ll Be Fine, Turn U On, I’m Missing You, and U Turn. Interesting, a Chinese dude in Britain (with a british accent!) who started as a music producer, then started singing. Not the best vocalist out there, but def got some catchy r&b tracks.
-Richgirl Ft. Chris Brown – Smile & Wave. Catchy little pop song. I’ll probably play this out in a week.
-Marie Digby – Surrender. Another youtube sensation with catchy pop songs?!? Similar to Michelle Branch, who is awesome and greatly missed.
-Lil Eddie Ft. Tiwa Savage – Love Next Door. More catchy pop songs, wheredafuc is all the rap at?
-Ryan Teddar – Gravity. Sounds like a demo track for another artist, but yet again, the lead singer of One Republic killsss it.
-Jay Sean – Why Why Why. Just found out this guy is Indian. Not like hyoh-hyoh-hyoh Native American Indian, but like Mahatma Ghandi Indian. Um yea, decent second single with too much handclap.
-Gorilla Zoe – Echo. So yea, this isn’t new, and I’d heard it before, but they were blaring it in the clubs in Vegas and this song sounds ridiculously tight at 120dB with a bit of loosey juice in your system. Peepz it if you haven’t.
-Jay-Z Ft. Kanye West & Rihanna – Run This Town. A rap track fom da hova, oooh. Head noddin beat with some nice ryhmes from Jay and Yeezy. Rihanna’s voice seems to have gotten more annoying after ChrisBreezy laid a beating on her.
Jordin Sparks – Battlefield. [ALBUM]
Wow, I did not expect much out of this album at all, but damn was I wrong. Some slower bangers to vibe out to, and some faster big name production tracks for beat-maker-jockers like my co-blogger (wheredafuckistpain?). I can safely say that if Jordin Sparks was actually hot, she would absolutely BLOW UP.
Anyways, here’s the notable tracks thus far: Walking on Snow, Battlefield, It Takes More, Watch You Go, Post card, and Paper cut. After just a week of perusing, this has already surpassed the Esmee Denters album… I think.
SLOAN is baaaaack!
Its the best time of the year right now, beautiful weather, longs days of sun light, and the best tv show out there, Entourage has returned! No HBO? Watch that shiz online or download it. You have no excuse for not being hip to this show. Go here to see all past episodes and even the new ones: ENTOURAGE. You can blame tpain if you get addicted and end up watching 10 episodes in one sitting.
The last season of this show was a little disappointing, but this new season’s premiere brought a smile to my face with the return of the best looking breezy to EVAR appear on the show: Sloan AKA my future wife AKA the first-ever SMASH-certified hottie AKA Emmanuelle Chiriqui!
Pics for your enjoyment:
Perk-y
Oh so beautiful. I bet she was reading this blog on her laptop.
Next time, maybe a post with more substance, but I’m crip-walkin out for now…
-JamMasterRay
Smash or Pass 
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