Hold the F’n Presses!

19 01 2010

nuff said.

review and more substantial post to come…

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Imma Let You Finish

20 09 2009

Man, I’m sure most people are sick of hearing about it by now…but Kanye West…dude cracks me the f’ up. The whole meme that’s started also makes me lolz, I was hopin it was going to turn into one and the internetz didn’t disappoint. That’s about all I’ve got to say on this.

Finally got around to checkin out some new music. I think I’m going through a phase of feelin the manufactured, guilty-pleasure, top 40 pop right now. Anyways, here’s some of what I’ve been listening to lately.

Blue Scholars-OOF EP. Sure most of you heard this/about it by now. Personal fav would have to be New People. Glad to hear they’re continuing to switch things up (and not sounding like crap).

Tsunenori-Asunaro. Hella hard to remember song name and artist name. Been a while since I got some stuff from Japan that was on point to this degree. Some good chill stuff on their latest album Promising. This would be me favorite song off the album at the moment. Warning to those with Raymond-ish/boring tastes, there is little talk on this album.

Stuck in my head stuff. Jason DeRulo-Watcha Say: JR really got a catchy sample from that Imogen Heap song, yes yes hate all you want but that song is fuckin mad stuck in my head right now. If you want a similar sounding song check out Replay by some dude named IYAZ, basically the skinny Sean Kingston (who happens to be another person JR produces for. I’m guessing JR made bank off that dude, so why not do it again I guess). Also Jay Sean-Down ft. Lil Wayne has been stuck in my head, no comment on this one, I’m sure you’ve probably heard it on the radio. Note: this does not mean I’m becoming a Lil Weezy fan.

Leona Lewis-Happy. Leona teams up again with Ryan Tedder, another smash???? I would have to say no, we’ll see what Raymond has to say though. Sometimes I think that nig uses a Magic 8 ball to determine if he likes a song or not so who knows what he’ll say. (Song starts at 1:00)

Alicia Keys-Doesn’t Mean Anything. Not bad, lil’ piano, uptempo-ish beat.

Brother Ali-US Album. The whitest white rapper is back. I’m still just gettin through this one. Worth checkin out from what I’ve listened to so far.

Its been pretty slow this summer in terms of new releases, I’ve still got Keri Hilson in the deck wtf. I believe this fall things should be pickin up a bit though. New Mariah (congrats on finally NOT naming an album like you’re 12), Alicia, Sean Kingston, Way out West (bout time), Leona Lewis, John Mayer (bout time again), Katherine McPhee, Memphis Bleek (damn, dude is still around? …and rapping? whoa), Lil Wayne (don’t count on it, this’ll probably be pushed to 2010. Nig flakes harder than Raymond on a Saturday night), Backstreet Boys, and oh snapz, Mr. Hudson is releasing an album. Things sound promising for the next few months.

Damn, I just realized this blogs been around for almost two years. Jeebus. I wonder if “White girls with booty” is still the most popular post. Note to self, title next post something sexual and get mad hits.

Finally a lil northwest tip. The new Bravern in Bellevue. Paaassssssss son. Well…might be a good place for Raymond to go catch his cougar.

<insert kanye west meme here>,
tpain





I am T-Pain. Lol that app cracks me up.

7 09 2009

Mark your calendars peeps! November 10th. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. NOVEMBER. ONE. ZERO. Shiaaaaaaat. If you don’t see any posts from me in November… December… January…… or 2010 at all it’ll probably be because of this and maybe Starcraft 2. Damn I’ve been to too many video game conventions this year. Note to anyone listening, booth babes are overhyped. Its all a matter of “relativity”, crapz is that even the word I’m lookin for? Anyways when the ratio is 200:1 and the girl is not a whale she is probably lookin at least decent in an environment like that. So don’t bother going to conventions to look at the booth babes, at least anymore. All the old timers always talk about how things used to be…but they also do that about pretty much everything else. One other thing about gaming conventions, bring uh some lotion, scented lotion preferably. Why? Because those things be gettin mad funky sometimes and a bit of lotion on the upper lip can help mask the smell of thousands of people that don’t have regular shower schedules. Oh, while we are on the subject of games (and lotion) I wanted to congratulate my blogger buddy Ray on his reaching level 55 in cod4. Nice son, I thought you’d given up. Well that’s enough of the gamer talk for now, feel free to visit the Mex to the Max blog for more/real gaming talk.

So with my birthday coming up and all just thought I’d tell you all about my new favorite clothing brand, you know just in case. Its called Ed Hardy by (theee man) Christian Audigier. That shts like having a giant dope tattoo but its on your shirt so A) it’s on your clothes instead of under them so everyone can see it much more easily and B) a few years from now you won’t be like WTF was I thinking and have to pay $10000 to get that ugly shiat removed. Seriously, I don’t think anyone can pull off that brand, not even the dark ones and they can pull off anything. Well that’s what I used to think until I saw Ed Hardy on a black person. Here’s an example of the brand, just in case anyone doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you’ve seen someone wearing it around, you probably just thought god that’s ugly and then forgot about it.

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Don’t look too long or you might get a headache. One more example…just so Ray can stop hating on me for not having a picture of a girl in my posts.

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Guess this just proves even more that once you get a celebrity to wear your crap people will follow. I’m sure a couple years from now we’ll be like Ed Hardy, oh I remember that, LOL. Until then we’ll just have to suffer through it together. Oh and if you do own some Ed Hardy stuff and this offended you…hmmmmm. Ok.

Lets seee, other stuff I said I’d post…Sloan certification. Eh, Raymond can you take care of this? I’m writing this post in bed right now and too lazy. Maybe I’ll just do it in my next post.

Til next time,
Tpain

PS: Anyone wanna hit up FurryCon 2010?





po-po-po-poke her face

17 06 2009

Apologies for the lateness of this post, I’ve been busy depleting the ocean of its shellfish and building an awesome model car (pics to come later). Hopefully this is worth the wait. Let’s start off with some albums I’ve been diggin recently. Songs in bold are must-listens!

Rick Ross – Deeper Than Rap
Notable tracks: Mafia Music, Maybach Music 2, Usual Suspects, Rich Off Cocaine, Lay Back, and In Cold Blood. The BOSSS is back with his gangsta rap. I like bumpin this while driving to work, while doing work at work, and doing work at home… in my bed. Tracks can get you hyped and ready to go slang some rocks. He really shouldn’t be shirt-less in all of his music videos though…

Mat Kearney – City of Black & White
Notable tracks: All I Have, Closer To Love, Here We Go, Lifeline, Runaway Car, Never Be Ready, Annie, and Straight Away. Most of these tracks are good ‘work music’. Just toss on the headphones and play it in the background to drown out them annoying voices and sounds of people actually being productive.

Imogen Heap – Speak For Yourself
Notable Tracks: Headlock, Goodnight and Go, Have You Got it in You, Loose Ends, Hide and Seek, Clear the Area, The Walk, and Just for Now. Yeah I know this album came out in 2005, and I’m hella late, but better late than never right? Seriously the best album I’ve heard in a long time. About the opposite end of the spectrum from the nigga music t-pain loves, but he needs to give this album a try, as do YOU!

Special shouts for two more amazing songs from her that are not on this album: Speeding Cars and Frou Frou – Let Go.

Esmee Denters – Outta Here
Notable Tracks: Victim, Outta Here, Gravity, What If, Getting Over You, Just Can’t Have It, Casanova, Bigger Than the World, and Sad Symphony. The first artist signed to sexy Justin Timberlake’s music label is a youtube sensation. This album features big-name production, so if you like to jock people named Timbaland and Danja, you should peeps it. Originally I gave this a 3/5 stars for bravely trying to copy Jojo’s amazing style. But after some repeated listens, I’ll give her a final tally of 4/5 stars cuz I think I’m hooked.

esmee

I haven’t happened upon any bangin hip-hop lately, so here’s some lovely boys and girls R&B music. Scrounge for the links yourselves:

Keri Hilson – Hurts Me (mos def should’ve been on the album. 5/5 starsss)
Brandy – Love Me the Most, Back and Forth
Christina Milian Ft. Kanye – Diamonds (kanye is actually barable)
Monica – Once in a Lifetime (new album coming soon?)
Toni Braxton – Not a Chance, Heart Never Had a Hero (new album coming soon?)
Paula Deanda – Back From Alone (new album coming soon? last one in 06 was a bangHER.)
LeToya – She Ain’t Got Shit on Me (new album coming soon? man she was lookin fiiine in her first music video after she got cut from Destiny’s Child.)

Private Residence

Jaicko Lawrence – Dreaming About You (no idea who this is, but catchy soulja boy beat, without the horrifical soulja boy)
Jaicko Lawrence – Not Tryna Fall In Love (wow, let me proclaim this neeg the next Chris Brown/Ne-Yo, but uglier)
Jay Sean Ft. Lil Wayne – Down (a lil electro-pop for tpain, featuring his fav rapper)
Ne-Yo – Lincoln Continental (sums up how i feel most of the time, but the beat is kind of annoying)
Ryan Teddar – Battlefield (way better than Jordin Sparks version)
Tyrese – Take Me Away (tpain loves the vocoder)
Usher – What’s a Guy to Do (new album coming soon? maybe another video with the HOTTT keri hilson?!)

kerihilson

PICTURE STORY ALERT!!!

Just in case any movie producers are reading this blog, here’s a random story about my traveling sweat pants (its contains pictures for the slow kids with ADD):

Recently, something tragic happened to me and my beloved sweat pants. I decided to post about it because my sweats are my friend (and because this blog seems to be lacking content that will draw in new readership). Let me begin this story with a journey way back in time…

It was the year 2001, and I was just a gangsta thug roaming the aisles of a Westfield mall in the heart of Sydney, Australia (yes, black people can travel internationally too). I stumble into a Foot Locker to check what’s poppin off with sneakerheads in the Land Down Under. No sexy shoes to see, but I spot a bombtastic pair of Saucony Athletic sweat pants in my favorite color, GREY. Not gray, not silver, GREY. They have cargo pockets on the side, where I can stash my brown paper bag money, so I knew I had to copz.

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Problem is, my paper stackz is low from my daily visits to McDonald’s for soft serve ice cream cones… so I hollur at my momz, and she spots me some bills. I got home and started rockin my sweats with the tags still on. Straight fresh to def like my main man Hugh Hef. Back in Seattle, I rock the sweats everywhere. Out to eat, everyday to school, to kick it with the homies, and to the gym.

sweats
Paired with my fav shoes of all-time (grey nike huraches)!
Pls ignore the enormous bulge in the crotch-region, some things just can’t be hidden.

One sad night (July 4th), I made the poor decision to wear my sweats to a roman candle fight. Now I’m not talking about your run of the mill, boogie wack-ass stand 30 ft from each other on some strategic type battle shit. I’m talking about some in yo face, afghani mountain guerilla warfare, 2-on-1 business. Now in battle number three of the night, I’m gettin lit up by two converging enemies when suddenly a stray flaming ball of fury hits my sweat pants just above the right pocket. Hella amped from the action, I continue on double-fisting with roman candles ablazing, unbeknownst to the mini-fire burning a hole through my beloved sweats. Finally alerted to the wildfire, I extinguish the flames with the palm of my hand, Clint Eastwood style, you gook. I had my dad sew a patch over the hole and the pants remain rock-able.

Roman-Candle-Fight

Fast forward to now, and I’ve relegated my sweats to sleepwear. Ask some of the lucky ladies that have joined me in the COCKpit of my sleeping vessle and 7 months out of the year I’m rocking my sweats to bed every night. The wear and tear has begun to show. The sweats no longer fit snugly around my waist, so I have to tug them up with every other step. This has caused the fabric to wear very thin at the ‘pull-up’ points (just imagine where black people hold onto their jeans when they’re running away from the cops).

Fast forward to yesterday, and I’m chillin in the kitchen, cookin up some nice grits and collard greens with a slice of watermelon and grape soda… and my sweats start slippin down. No biggie, this happens all the time. Two hands on my backside, pull up, and the pants should be proper. Except no, this time, things were different. I grasped my sweats firmly, and as I went to lift them up above ass-line (I sag for the homies in prison who can’t do so) I feel a strange poke come through… my finger has tragically pierced through the worn fabric area on my sweats.

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Worn fabric area, hole, and patched hole.

In a fit of rage, I remove my sweat pants and toss them to the ground in a disgusted fashion. How could my sweats be ruined? I used Snuggle fabric softner, so you would last a lifetime (and for that hella cute bear). I can’t wear clothes that have more than one hole in them. That crosses the line from gangsta to nigga-poor…

Finally accepting the fact, I picked up my sweats and gently laid them out on a chair. From now on, I’m gonna leave these sweat pants in my car. I’ll be just like Linus from Peanuts, except instead of a blanket, I have my sweat pants. Hate if you want… I just love my sweat pants.

linus

THE END!

I can’t leave tpain without something to dream about at night, besides him sitting behind me on a Yamaha R6 50th Anniversary motorcycle, so enjoy… the many faces (and bodies) of the caucasian female.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: all-natural beautifulnessnessness.
jennifer_love_hewitt

Blake Lively: meh I don’t think I’m diggin it at all, but tpain might.
blake-lively

Carrie Underwood: damn look at them legs. legs for daaaays son. I’ll take them legs with a side of cole slaw and biscuits… is what a black guy would say. Damn Tony Romo, you are a crazy man for passing on that. Though following it up with Jessica Simpson is like passing on clam chowder for seafood bisque, either way you’re eating good in the neighborhood.
Carrie

Also, this dude reminds me of my homosexual friend Pablo, who is almost this COOL:

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outro.

-hurRAYcane





can’t get you outta my system…

19 03 2009

She’s back! Miss Keri, baby.

kerihilson

News of her album droppin on 3/24 was music to my ears, just like her album is… music to my ears. Yes, her album in its entirety has leaked again. Find your own link or copz it in stores. I feel kind of bad, cuz apparently that’s what delayed her album in the first place, but you know how I do.

After watching the following video, her hotness is obviously on that beyonce/a-keys level, if not higher (that’s Meagan Good territory). Certify me with that Jungle Fever stamp, son!


Imagine waking up next to that every day. GAH!

So after listenin through ‘In A Perfect World’ a few times and other previously leaked tracks, here’s what pops off as Miss Keri’s notable bangers:

On the album: Knock You Down, Intuition, Change Me (Prob second best ‘new’ song on the album), Energy, and Where Did He Go. Pretty much every song is at least decent, except Set Your Money Up and Return the Favor. Timbaland is fallin off…

Not on the album: Mic Check (how is this NOT on the album?!?), Do It, Control Me, Luv Ya, What Channel, Turnin Me On Remix Ft. T-Pain & Lil Wayne (wayyy better than the original), and Promise in the Dark.

Honorable mention: Wrong When You’re Gone. Apparently she wrote this song for JLo and sang a sample of it (cuz JLo can’t sing for shiz). Well the snippet leaked and she obv KILT it; whereas JLo’s version sucks toes. Please re-record this and put it out baby! JLo’s version for reference: puertoricanssuckdicks.

Best new track (best click the link son!): Alienated. Its prob the hottest track from her since ‘Energy’ and I’ve had it on repeat non-stop. Real classic love-in-the-summer banger. Beat, lyrics, and vocals are all on point. The song even ends well with a nice little ding-ding-do-dou-do-ding-ding.

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Random pic of Meagan Good… cuz there was too much dense text. She’s hottt in nig & white photo. 🙂

Its March Madness time snigs. Please believe my Thursday/Friday will comprise chatting/trash talking online (cuz my coworkers ain’t down for the crown) and monitoring sports.yahoo.com all day. I’ve posted one of my NCAA brackets for all the world to see. I suggest you fill one out and see if you can beat me. These predictions are pretty much a guessing game, and they’re easier to do than pummeling t-pain at Gears of War 2.

THE NCAA Bracket 2009 This is a link cuz homoWordpress doesn’t support .bmp files. WTF?

Speaking of gow2, this game is ridiculously addictive. Its like sex with crack, mixed with a bit of meth on the side. No lie. I’ve been tempted to just stay home from work and play gow2 all day and eat pistachio crackers with kool-aid. I imagine that how’s these mo’fockers that be killin me constantly get sooo good.

The verdict is in on Minka Kelly… PIZZ-ASS. I mean, well, not pass. Please believe I would smash that if I found her laying in my bed/chair/ground/passenger seat, but she’s nothing more than a poor man’s Emmanuelle Chiriqui. And if you don’t know, now you know…

eman

Since t-pain had the courage to bring up a breezy for voting, I shall do the same. Hello y’all, please meet Megan Fox (two pics, cuz she’s worth the extra download time).

megan-fox-fhm-3

megan-fox-1

Well, she’s not exactly unknown, but I think she has a good chance of being certified as A) she’s crazy FOXy, B) she was in an animated film t-pain adores, and C) she’s not black. t-pain despises girls of his own color. self-racism is a bitch.

Just cuz I gots the time, I’ll provide one more candidate for SorP certification. I know she’s already a strong candidate cuz she’s part Chinese, which is t-pain’s kryptonite. Just like mine’s are fried foods, fast women, and pandas. Mmm Kelly Hu. You make me want to sit in the dark and watch re-runs of Nash Bridges all night long. By the way, that show was focking awesome.

kelly_hu

Don’t forget to check out new episodes of the best hak-gwei show on tv right now: The Game. Hopefully it won’t be the next in the long line of black comedies to get cancelled. 😦

Before I leave, big shouts to the nig for holding it down in LA. Them pics of the PCH are sweet. Next time i’ll post the vid of me and El Spic-o riding dirty on that freeway. Props on the new wHip too. Glad you got the 19s to make the ladies swoon; and the leather, so the breezies won’t stain the interior. Don’t sweat the popo’s down there vato, i’m sure they’re just jealous seeing a dark-skinned nig pushin that sweet black ass. wtf am i even talking about anymore?

Must be time to end this, till next time SNEEgroes…

-mr. RAYsin





jigga what?

17 03 2009

Just some random stuff for this post. Guess I was waiting to come across something of substance to write about but nothing really materialized. So I’m just gonna jump around here.

So I finally gave in and got a car last month (and have gotten 4 parking tickets already, more on that later). Getting from Hollywood to Venice on the bus was gettin real old. Here is a pic from the top of the garage where I park her.

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Hopefully I’ll get some better ones when I figure out where my tripod is. Commute still takes 40-60 minutes one way but no more smelly bus rides or worrying that I’m gonna get shot, which happened on some bus on Crenshaw a couple weeks ago, which is the street I was catching my second bus on. Now everyday on my way in instead, I just think about skipping my exit and staying on the freeway which in a couple miles goes to the coast and the PCH.

IE this:
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and further up the road this:
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One day I’ll do it again…

Also I’ve decided to get rid of the bike. After a too close encounter with a F150 and a driver who didn’t want to stop after his lil’ love tap, I figured its probably time. Not having a real garage down here sucks and people are just too crazy on the roads. No regrets with the bike though and I think I’ll get another one someday down the road, just time for a break. R1 next maybe? 1098? Dualsport? Who knows. I’ll probably end up on a Harley. Jeebus, please sock me in the face if that does happen. Pics of the R6 for reference.

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Back to parking tickets. As a public service announcement to anybody: LA meter maids are bizzatches. I’ve gotten 4 tickets now for not having plates. How come I don’t have plates? Because I just got the car, if you bothered to look on the dash where my temp registration is exactly where its supposed to be you’d know that. So LA isn’t so strict about speeding like they bees in the Seatown but man they make up for it with parking tickets. First ticket I got down here about six months ago was for leaving the bike in a no-parking 10am-12pm zone. I got the ticket at 10:04am. Ugg.

What else…oh, so I rented this highly hyped (by our co-blogger) movie called “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and… it will not be getting SOP certified. There were some funny moments and Miss Kuniz was lookin good but its not on the required top level for certification. I think Raymond is just really in love with the guy from How I Met Your Mother and in this movie you see ALL of him.

Something, err someone I do think we should certify though. One of the actresses from Friday Night Lights, Minka Kelly. Snaps son. Its been a while since I had anything to add to the “breezies” section so you know this had to be good. I’ll let the pics speak for themselves.

89604_esquire2_122_1141lo

nerbleminkakellycosmo01kb01

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I’d been hearin about this show for a while and finally caught a few episodes, worth checking out (for more than the above) if you enjoy dramas.

I’ll close it out with a few excepts from recent conversations w/my co-blogger. He entertains me like Mr. Chi City. The day is quite a bit more boring when he isn’t online, which luckily isn’t too often. Names changed upon request to protect the innocent, haha. Like no one knows who he is. Also this is the name he requested to be used.

BigNig: do they block porn sites out there?
Lee: ummm yeah i think so
they regulate a lot of stuff
BigNig: try googling baby sex or something
and see what happens

BigNig: damn that sounds fun
link me up to the ad when you post it
me: aight
don’t think it will match your snow one tho
BigNig: yous silly
like a goose
foxtrot
beenie babies
big boppers
me: yous mad random sometimes
BigNig: man i feel like michael phelps right now
baaaaked
if i knew what that felt like, i imagine its like now

BigNig: oh man, i better be careful
i just went to the bathroom and on my way there, i saw this old guy i usually say hi, hows it going to and today for some reason, i saluted him, and said how goes it good thing it was like an army salute, and not like a hitler one

me: how’s miss hilson
and you’re teasin me with a new blog post?
or telling me to post
BigNig: BOTh
she’s resting
i just ‘chris brown’ed her

BigNig: outro
see you tonight hopefully
if im not on xbl
pls call me
as i may have died or something
peace

me: what does that mean
BigNig: i dunno
sometimes i say shit
and it doesnt mean anything

Til next time-which might be a while, I’m on a mission to get to the top rank on COD4. And yea, Fuck that GOW game. I said it.

-tpain





i wanna run… smash into you

18 01 2009

well well well, here we are in 2009. a year me and the homies posted up on the block thought we’d never live to see. we have a black president, a korean LUXURY car, and a white guy as the best player in college football. whadafuc? its enough to make colonel sanders roll over in his grave. what’s next? a mexican guy being the richest man in the world…?

sidebar: i made my own version of the kfc bowl a week ago, complete with mashed potatoes, leftover turkey, corn, gravy, all topped with melted cheese. shizz was like eating slop off a slave’s supper plate. not a good look.

kfc_bowl

first off, let me start this legendary post by taking y’all on a journey… back, waaaay back… through 2008:

things started off well as i began daily driving the beast. many good times were shared between me and the bumblebee/sebastien/pedobear. then i had to move outs the house to stack the scrilla. this meant changing clothes for work, not napping at my discretion, no more morning trips on the ‘silver bullet train’ and commuting like a mo’focker. wackz for sure.

next up came glory glory for MAN U as they won both the Champions League AND the EPL title, solidifying their spot as the best team on the entire planet. the beautiful one (cristiano) gets madd recognition and picks up the Ballon d’or and Fifa Player of the Year awards… solidifying his spot as the best player on the entire planet!

during the summer I rediscovered my passion for bikes… bicycles that is. madd trips were taken around the city and hopefully it will start again once the all-mighty Allah stops punishing us with this horrid weather.
 
lastly the two main highlights of the year, madd awesome trips to both norcal and socal. good friends, tasty foods, and delightful sights were taken in on both trips, and the memories will be everlasting… like my love-making sessions.

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fasty chinaman reppin nike in DT SF

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tastiest chicken strips i’ve ever ingested, even those chicken strips are for gwei los

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sexy venice beach without the breezies 
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pbeezy squirtin off in some hole mexi-style

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carls jr, a poor replacement for the ultimate delight: in-n-out

next up: Japan and Korea!

now that 2009 has settled in, we can take a look ahead and see what the new year shall bring (although 09 doesn’t really start until 1/26, gong hay fat choy biiitches). this year i shall resolve to:

– make some tight beats
– make the beast more awesome
– gain some useful professional skills to become more ‘corporate and marketable’ [read: white] like tpain
– overall… be a better me

since i’m in a reflective type of mood, and muzik is a definite smash or pass topic, let’s review the sounds that 08 presented my ears.
*disclaimer yet again that my choosings are biased towards the year end and these are the albums/tracks that got the most air time with me.*

my choice for the top 3 albums of the year:
– beyonce – i am sasha fierce
– emancipator – soon it will be cold enough
– ne-yo – year of the gentleman
honorable mentions go out to: usher – here i stand & brandy – human

my choice for the top 3 songs of the year:
– beyonce – smash into you

– emancipator – when i go, good knight, or shook (tough choice)
– usher ft. beyonce & lil wayne – love in this club remix

and just because i’m angry, the top 3 most disapointing artists of the year:
– lil wayne for following up the amazingly outstanding carter II with a horrible slurring auto-tuned piece of crap. (exceptions being lollipop, got money, and let the beat build)
– keri hilson for producing madd tantalizing collabos and singles, but delaying the shiz out of her debut album.
– kanye west for thinkin he could produce an EMO rap album comprising sappy lyrics, non-banging beats, and more fockin singing auto-tune. (exception for the chorus on  ‘see you in my nightmares‘ ft Lil Weezy) leave the robot voice to t-pain and lady gaga!

DUN DUN DUHHH (that was a dramatic drumroll kids), we have two new inductions into the SorP certified bangers list… which was previously just one song?

1. congrats to beyonce for the amazing song ‘smash into you’. this track has been on replay for months at home, in the car, and at work. next time yous alone, crank the volume up, and try NOT to sing your fockin lungs out… go get ’em B!
beyonce_certified_gasmask
2. big standing ovation for emancipator and his ridiculously chillax album ‘soon it will be cold enough’. this beats-only album is the perfect at-work or love-making music. just press play and let the tracks roll and head nodding begin. each track is a banger, except for ‘smoke signals’… cuz i don’t get down with animal sounds in beats. madd props to tpain for discovering this and forcing me to give it a try.
emancsoon_certified

also, as promised in my last post, here’s a snapz of another pair of kicks i copped. i apologize in advance to ben(D over) for not sporting fruity ass electro colors or in other words, sir john elton-type gear.

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its time to end this truly epic post, but i must leave you with what you most likely came here for. some of that tasty eye candy baby…

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freida pinta (7.5/10) – cuuute pic, pretty pretty, but a little lacking in the body dept. also, could there be madd furriness hidden beneath those clothes?

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kristen bell vs mila kunis (who knew she could be hot?)

sidebar: Forgetting Sarah Marshall – possibly the best movie of 2008, a definite must see… unlike batman.

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kristen bell (8/10) – hot pose, hot clothes, and a mirror makes a definite hottt pic. cute face AND body, mmmZ break me off a piece of that!

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mila kunis (7/10) – awesomely sexy in the movie. almost makes me want to watch the 70’s show re-runs. hotter in the movie than in pics, but still more bangin than your gf… fo’sho.

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vanessa simmons (8/10) – jungle fever strikes again! bangin body, but a little lackin in the face dept. kind of a keri hilson look-a-like. bet you bitches will be blowin up google searchin for more of her pics. (sorry, can’t resize for some reason)

late breaking addition to the post: a hilarious vid passed on by e-mille. this is a real nig i wanna be homies with. had me rolllllin in the beginning yo.

next post: opinionated commentary on the new viaduct replacement tunnel. hopefully you have peeped all the links in this post as it took me ages to find them. till next time kiddos…

-areayewhyMOND