Hit ’em with that one two son.

5 05 2009

Wow, first time ever? Two posts within 12 hours, something must be in the air. Kinda difficult following up that last post, I would have to say out all those facebook 25 thingie lists I read Raymond’s was the only one that had my loling for more than a few items (just for reference I read a total of 4 of those lists). So a big pat on the back for you buddy for makin me laugh a great deal. I’ll get ya a beer next time…and maybe a breezy to go along with it? The logistics of how I’m gonna repay that debt confuzzle me now.

So, this post is a lil jacked. I had written most of it up at work a couple weeks ago during a late night while my comp was processing some junk…then I lost my phone a couple days later. Steve Jobs hooked it up though and was all along secretly copying all of my iPhone info to my computer and probably off to some huge secret Apple database, so yeah, no worries I still have all yall’s digits. Not that I ever call anyone anyways.

So, back to the original subject of my post…personal space aka the space bubble aka one’s ‘kinesphere’ (wtf? I guess there’s a real term for it says Wikipedia. Feel free to use that term to impress the ladies tonight Raymond, just ask if they’d like to merge kinespheres or somethin like that). Anyways, it seems to me that people are forgetting what the fock personal space is these days. Living in LA, the most f’in spread out city in the world, you woulda thought people would use that extra space to maaaybe, just maybe, stay out your grill. Guess that just isn’t the case. I started to notice this problem about a month ago when I was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store grabbing something for lunch on my way to work. I get in line then this old dude gets in line behind me standin’ maaaaad close like he’s tryin to get some body heat off me. At first I figured, eh maybe he’s not paying attention and is off looking at something else and doesn’t realize how close he’s standin, so the line moves forward, I take a step…so does he, and now he’s standing even closer, wtf. I felt like Chris on an episode of Family Guy with this dude (picture to meet post quota):

Standing right up my butt isn’t gonna make the line go any faster buddy, not really sure what his deal was. My apologies if you just have really, really…really bad vision sir. I had a couple of other examples but after writing them up the first time I’m too lazy now to do it again. One involved children pretty much grabbing me while in line at Disneyland while their parents did absolutely nothing and no I’m not down like the Pedo. And the other recent instance involved some dude I was sitting next to on a plane twitchin his leg against mine like he was tryin to start a fire, seriously, wtf?

So yeah, check yo self people, otherwise I might just sneeze on your face next time so you realize why standing too close to someone isn’t a great idea.

Oh, onto the certifications, lets keep it simple and quick this time folks cuz I’m a nerd and a fan of the kiss principle (look that ish up on google if you ain’t down with them nerd terms):
1) Pass
2) Pass
3) Pass
4) Hmmm, rrrrr, dang guess you did get me with that kryptonite Raymond but that pic you posted is not quality. Eh, guess I’m gonna have to go with a P-A-S-S. Maybe if you post a better pic we can change that ruling. We got some standards to maintain around here and none of thems bees on that Miss Chriqui level. And no I’m not just bitter cuz you turned down my submission for certification last time, you blind mother-f’er.

Just wanted to wrap it up with a concrats to the millieman on the big Q and a-leezie on turnin soft. Who wulda thunk it, snaps ya’ll, what’s next tpain not having a motorcycle? Raymoondo not dating three (to five) black girls? Man the world’s a crazy place these days.

Wow, this really just turned into an open letter to Raymond (I blame this on his recent online absence)…..hmmm, well I hope it was at least somewhat entertaining for the rest of you.

till later this month (I’m tryin to maintain that one-post-a-month average and last month I was sluffin),




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